Quote: "We create our own Pain"
This is a difficult quote to digest. How can we create our own pain? Who does? Why should we create pain for ourselves?
It can be said that "hurt is actually created by you only". Because you allowed yourself to be hurt by the response you got from outside stimulus coming inward to you.
Today the word "Criticism" is used very liberally and comes very quick from people's vocabulary. If you notice the opposite, appreciation comes into two or three words only. However, people who are critical can be loving also. The 17:1 ratio is a fact. We criticise 17 times more and appreciate only once! Or another way to look at the 17:1 ratio is when hurt is created (For example, someone said some nasty or harsh things about you behind your back but before that they were full of praise for you on seventeen occasions) and that one hurt was very painful and it took a long time to heal that one hurt. This demonstrates how careful we all need to be when we interact with people and the choice of vocabulary becomes a huge part of it. It is not so bad with petty things but sometimes in relationships things can get out of control.
It is said that our behaviour only reflects our state of mind at the time event takes place. Our minds are always in conflict and if you look and examine some of the common vocabulary we use –words like "Always" and "Never" are used so frequently. For example "You are always doing this"! Or "You never do this or that"! For parents these words are automatic when children do not listen to them.
The Question then arises to explore is - Are our minds conditioned from our past?
The mind is the subtle part of our body. So for example if my parents or forefathers did this or that, is it likely that I am also going to be doing the same? If so, then we have a chance to improve our Sanskar to "de-condition" ourselves in this life.
But children will get influences from both sets of parents and get conditioned. The interaction and energy is consumed by the child both positive and negative. It is us who are creating and consuming the energy! Each and everyone one of us need to shield ourselves to make sure we do not consume negative energy else we will radiate and pass that to the next close person in our life –wife, child or husband or friend etc. When this happens they do not understand why? The equation is a difficult one to balance and make yourself immune but there is only one possible way offered by Spiritual leaders and that is to keep a stable mind and to continue to send good positive vibrations and arm oneself with Positive arrows so when those negative ones start, you can keep the positive arrow at forefront of the mind and become more self-aware. This cannot happen automatically either and requires a lot of practice and patience when confronted by situations.
The next sets of words Trust, Honesty and Integrity are also so powerful and taken for granted these days also. For example Trust is always last to come especially when hurt is created. Love and trust are used interchangeably. Love is trust and trust is love which is a rare commodity today. If someone betrayed you or broke your trust, our human brain is conditioned to think that we will never trust that person again or if we do it is going to take a very long time. One has to look at individual itself who is a soul and accept the fact that promises or trust will break one day but realise also that these mistakes happen in life for we are human but at same time "the soul is pure". The person has its own capacity and if we somehow give "unconditional love" and always give positive vibrations, then perhaps our mind will be silent and powerful and perhaps make the other person realise their mistake in times to come. Sometimes we easily say "I do not trust you" but this type of vocabulary is sending negative vibration to the other person. Instead we need to experiment perhaps and mind our own language by saying "I did not expect this from you but next time I hope you do not do it" –may send out positive vibration.
Today in modern fast paced life, children are a prime example. Because they know their parents react easily, they sometimes live in fear not to disclose information and you have a classic example when the child says "I am going out" –the parent reacts by saying "Are you asking my permission or informing me"?
A word from another can create hurt and a word from someone can also make us happy. When it comes to it, ego is always in the way for we can't say sorry easily. Sorry is a word which is stimulant also sending positive vibration back to other person. The problem nearly always is that most of the time we feel we are right and is not the case all the time and to recognise this we need to be very self aware of ourselves since we create these thoughts and radiate to others. Therefore we create our own pain.
In essence negative thoughts therefore deplete our energy and to learn more and improve ourselves we all need to check and practice S.O.S daily since past and future is not in our control but present is. If we do not steer towards this, our soul will weaken.
A Question arose how can one do this? The answer given was look at yourself and analyse the moments which made you feel happy within and what created those moments and if they were beautiful in someway then channel your thoughts towards those to ask yourself can you make them happen again?
The word "Honesty is best policy" is said too often. How true does this hold today?
Today we accept lies very easily and there is too much pretence!
If we are clean within us then that is truth and honesty. Some people are too honest and they happily do whatever to please other people but are unhappy inside and that is in order to be just nice due to their nature. One has to remember one cannot please all the time for the soul within us needs harmony too and a weak soul as already mentioned does not progress into next journey as well as it should be.
Here is an example. One day a factory owner decided to retire and wanted to handover the empire to a trusted employee. He gathered everyone and gave some seeds to each and everyone to plant in a pot and brings them back as a way to select someone. The following week, employees gathered with their pots and many showed flowers of different colours or plants of different types except for one employee standing at the back with nothing. The employer called him to the stage and asked why he did not bring anything.
The employee replied back that he tried very hard but failed and could not grow anything. He got the job! The moral of this story showed that this employee was honest and had courage to tell the truth and face up. The seeds were all boiled given to all so would grow easily.
The final word "Integrity" too is used easily. Spiritualists advise us to have integrity with yourself 1st, then for people around you and if you speak the truth the rest is easy. Integrity comes in 3 forms- "My feelings", "my words" and "my actions" if all three are in harmony then this is integrity. Questions arise: Do I do what I think? Do I do what I speak? If not- who is betraying who?
We live for others and not for ourselves and our soul. The soul comes in 3 parts.The mind, the intellect and sanskar. All these three are in our sub-conscious state and we all need to try awakening that aspect. FOR we can learn from our mistakes and change the Sanskar in present and if we do that, then our future will be OK.
Going beyond these Doubts is not about being detached from life either. It is a process of "Going beyond my weakness" and making the mind strong so that the soul does not weaken and is stable and indifferent to circumstances.
One Spiritualist said we should train ourselves to be "scratch less" so that even hurt cannot weaken us. If we remain stable we can help others who are in difficulty and understand their hurt and send positive energy to them.
All this sounds great. But how and seems very daunting. Yes it may appear challenging but you need discipline too and focus what you want.
Here is what a Spiritualist recommended as one way to mediate this aspect in solitude to say these words when you have made mistakes.
"Let me think that I created pain by saying some things (like I don't trust them). Let me look at it again. They made a mistake. Now let me look at my soul. It is pure, beautiful and peaceful. This is my quality too. Let me comment, accept they do things differently and I do not agree but my love and trust for the soul remains the same."
Below is also recommended to put to practice
Simple things given to practice
- Set aside 15 minutes as you rise from bed. Spend first 5 mins to conduct a prayer whichever religion or faith you have before you commence anything in solitary.
- Spend the next 10 minutes plan the day ahead in such a way where your thoughts channel Positive things and how you think you are going to make that day a Positive one.
- The Day starts….million things brain will be doing in sub-conscious state without thinking and each time it is "pre-programmed" to many things some automatically. You will then also get "Outside Stimulus" from people around you, the environment you work in, and events which may or may not be in your control and soon we become "dependent on this" as we react automatically. The state of mind at that time is said to be either "Happy" or "unhappy" depending on situation and your own happiness index. If negative stimulus comes in, we react accordingly as we pre-coded brain to act in certain way. To counter act every situation will need many things to work on to awaken sub-conscious state. This state is very powerful and you can become very alert by practicing daily. Hence point 4.
- At end of day, spend 10 minutes before you go back to bed. Look at the day just gone –did it go according to step 2 above you set out to make a positive one? Ask yourself this Question what did you achieve and reflect on it that could have done anything better to change it. Chat to yourself about it in solitary mode then go to sleep.
The main point from above experiment and train each day is gradually your thoughts should become powerful and alert, you will get sharper and stronger due to injecting positive vibrations and be self aware –it has already been said that to kill a negative thought, it takes 17 positive ones in age of Kalug and that 17:1 ratio is not very good because of dependency on outside stimulus" and your body (mind actually) within its state is radiating that energy from within which you then radiate back to people around you.
IWe keep our body and physical pleasures happy is one thing, but keeping the mind happy, stable and improve sanskar within us will surely make the soul even stronger to take the next journey in life.